sooner or later 

so much for loving this city, well well my wallet and handphone were nicked from under my eyes all in the span of a quick lunch at subway ;( shit happens, and real fast at that, from the high of playing around at hyde park and four seasons duck rice and peanutbutter milkshake to the low of homeless-penniless-contactless. ugh.

then there were friends, and im glad i got froggy's-girl for the night ;) all the stories missed and lost over summer told over dinner, and to the strand and over jubilee bridge where we ended up sitting by the river bank rails listening to live but sad piano music, talking, reminiscing. we've got new lifes havent we, new dreams, new anchors, but yet i still love talking to you. and it was only until last night that i could look the shit that had happened in the eye and say everythings gonna be fine, no home - only for a couple more days, no wallet - not a problem with friends and a great aunt, no contact - no big deal. i can survive this, and you will survive it too ;)

i know its crazy, but you've gotta agree with me that its a beautiful kind of crazy ;)

the remonal records 

madrid, spain: ezy5475, sevilla metro station, hostal anguilar, gelato at palazzo, el corte ingles, chocolate con churros, santiago bernabeu, parque del retiro, afro dog, rowing and tanning, tarantos flamenco show, posh paella dinner, sangria that made us hot and sleepy, toledo day trip, katana hunting, suicide shots, swinging, catching plastic bottles on the swing, 'wewo wewo yeahe yeahe i love you more than i can say', dhalsim craziness, spanish wedding, kfc bucket, pukacious frozen pasta, cycling championships, japanese guy, bloody bullfight at la ventas, rain, museo de jamon, gross waxed meat, hard rock cafe, itatakimas-doitoimashite-udusai-barka-sukiyaki-nagoya-hiroshima antics, slipping on the metro, depression face, zara and bershka, abc shopping centre, musgo shop, kfc again, ezy5476. ;D ;D ;D

in just we trust, in ong we boing, in chee we pee, (in wayn we faint).
one of the best trips ever ;D madrid muy bien!

it's still me 

four days in london land, lazy mornings in bed with casinobunny and catwoman (hehe), long long long walks from euston to school, late night being silly with the two said persons and morning psychoness of one of them, internet happy in good old brunchbowl, wetherspoons and chinatown with the lse peeps, church with the kids, waytoomuch chinese take out and fish and chips and bread food, and now cosy mornings spent in bed watching teevee and reading 'god of small things' in my aunt's bed. and, dreams for the new year, time to fight comfort zones and do great new things. every reason to smile, but still missing home.

well i guess this is welcome to london - my second home ;)

dear you... 

dear sarah, i'll miss the way you and me always get together and bully belle, or our dear loh ;) you will always be a special part of my life, no matter the distance.

dear meiling, i'll miss how you never fail to make rara and me laugh no matter what you say. keep it going for the exchange, then we can see the world together.

dear vincent, i'll miss ALL our food outings, sniff. remember our email deal yes ;)

dear ryan, i'll miss squabbling with you about everything and anything, and of course, the rides in your too-cool-for-me mini cooper. dont you forget me!

dear yier and jasmine, i'll miss how we shared such a huge part of our lives together back then. work hard, study hard, and who knows even dance hard, heh.

dear senthil, i'll miss your friendship, short and sweet.

dear shawn, i'll miss your lovely lovely songs, don't forget to share.

dear jas, i'll miss bullying you on the way to adam road, laughing at your stupid msn emoticons, and basically just being mean to you. but i'll miss you, really. i'm real sorry there was no proper goodbye and thats one of the things i regret most.

dear blacks people, i'll miss being part of the team. rugby lives forever.

dear dennis, i'll miss our silly conversations about everything from cars to mp3 players to flash and splash wear to cruise ships. you're the best, anytime!

dear dad and mum, i'll miss the love. -hug-

goodbye, and i love you all ;)

good things come in threes 

whose song 

nobody gets too much heaven no more
it's much harder to come by i'm waiting in line
nobody gets too much love anymore
it's as high as a mountain and harder to climb
*our song by m2m

i can't breathe 

one final goodbye to the last guy today, well kindda. i wanted to stay in that little room forever, cos for that short moment i felt safe, safe from the rain and lightning and darkness outside, safe from people. ever since that incident, my hands tremble whenever im afraid; they trembled again today, and all i wanna do is to just sit down and cry, and rest my head on someone who will vanish once this sad scene is over. my dear darkwolf, i would hold up your world for you, but i think my own cardboard world has come crashing down on me too, i fall apart, just like back back back then.

last year, leaving meant a new beginning at a place where pain didnt exist yet. this year, i leave for the place of pain. you know? no, you dont.

you dont get choices in life, life chooses you.

its birthdays weekend 

happy birthday hottie!
happy birthday mummy!
happy birthday tallie!

lets get busy busy ;D and i swear after all's been said and done, i never wanna bake in a long time, never wanna step into that boutique in a long time, and never wanna wear a summer dress in a long time. i only do it this time, cos you all are worth it.

wake me up when september ends 

i have said my goodbyes, dear ryan, kid, howey, yier, jas, sen, rara, belle, much love. there are some goodbyes however, i regret never getting the chance to say, i think you guys know who you are. its ironic, how one year can change so many feelings and yet leave some just the way it used to be, life always proves itself to be complicated shit. as much as i love london, i know i'll miss home...my parents, the car, crazy spending power, trainings, and the comfort familiarity and solid friendships bring. at least i fly on thursday with my two favourite people, i think thats gonna make the journey alot more smoother than i can ever imagine it to be.

summer has come and passed the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again becoming who we are
as my memory rests but never forgets what i lost
wake me up when september ends
*wake me up when september ends by green day

ahh rara and belle and kid, i'll miss you three the most ;( goodbyes are tough.

blast from the past 

mambo/phuture last night was absolutfuckin awesome stuff ;D together we had tequila and bombay sapphire shots for sarah and me, and long island tea, whisky on the rocks, vodka lemon, tequila shots, heineken beer, flaming lamborghini...for the boys; enough to get us warm and high as we celebrated sarah's and jon's birthdays at wine bar, with cake smashing and random screaming no less! then we hit the dance floor with a vengeance and mambo-ed away before going over to phuture for some good music. and not forgetting supper with the last survivors and jo and mich before it rained and we headed home to collapse into bed at almost five in the morning. as it always is, ran into many kiddos last night, yoda and mun and co, jason and co, rj peeps, kenneth and tim, wensi, seehang; twas good, for my first and last mambo this summer. so fun so fun so fun so happy so high so hot, always up for a good night out ;D and sorry guys, this song got me addicted, haha.

lonely i'm so lonely
i have nobody to call my own
i'm so lonely (so lonely)
i'm mr lonely (mr lonely)
i have nobody (i have nobody)
to call my own (to call my own)
*lonely by akon

summer loving 

a new beginning, almost 

I have seen his ways, but I will heal him
I will guide him and restore comfort to him.
-Isaiah 57:18

i'll always remember the ones who stayed
i'll never forget the ones who disappeared

.

♥
JESUS BE THE CENTRE, BE MY SOURCE, BE MY LIGHT JESUS
JESUS BE MY VISION, BE MY PATH, BE MY GUIDE JESUS
BE THE FIRE IN MY HEART, BE THE WIND IN THESE SAILS
BE THE REASON THAT I LIVE, JESUS JESUS