hey hey hey 

damn you incompetent bastards.

to my study break 

you feel like a candle in a hurricane
just like a picture with a broken frame
alone and helpless like you've lost your fight
but you'll be alright, you'll be alright

cause when push comes to shove you taste what you're made of
you might bend till you break cause its all you can take
on your knees you look up decide you've had enough
you get mad you get strong wipe your hands shake it off
then you stand, then you stand
*stand by rascal flatts

i worry i won't see your face light up again 

pride is at once the most powerful and most dangerous weapon a person can ever have. i struggle with it, we all do. * * *
post exam traditions are still the same, yet not quite. shopping, but not quite the same since i dont have hundreds of pounds to blow like last year; so just a bikini(!) and a skirt. and 7am nights, but this time its 24. i know im gonna have to deal with this absolute crazy sloth when time catches up with me. but if thats what you want, fine.

even the best fall down sometimes 

to you, without you i would never have survived this. i heart you so much.

to you, i wish we could have been so much more, but i cannot give you more than all i am. so let me be the one to save ya...and you dont have to return the favour.

to you, i cannot keep running after you each time you walk away, im sorry.

to you, you betrayed me, theres nothing left to say.

to you, we're the best team =)

its been two days since my exams came to a bam bam wham end with the two papers on thursday. my days have melded into nights in the company of the enfant terribles as we ate homecooked porkchops, drank snowballs, cooked french toast, watched movies in bed, woke up for lunch at wrights bar, caught 'the squid and the whale' at the cinema, took a little break, drank whisky cokes, partied at fabric, had doritos and coke before bedtime, woke up for hot tea, took a rainy bus ride to chinatown. now that ive finally got home proper to clean up the mess after my exams, i strangely miss rolling over on the black and white marshmallow with my two favourite girls fast asleep or quite awake. that was nice.

GV 265, GV 101 

I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber.
-Psalm 121:1-3

remember back during the a's days i used to call my papers battlefields, this time battlefield 'states, nations and empires' and battlefield 'introduction to political science' await. its gonna be a long long day ahead, and my hand's probably gonna resemble a claw as nick's did. i appreciate prayers =) go, fight, WIN.

EC 201 

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. -Matthew 7:7

brace up, kiddos.

try 

i learnt an infinitely harsh lesson today, and sometimes when consequences are forever or near forever, thats where regret hits the hardest. i know this regret will stay long and painful, and its made me reassess my priorities, what have i given up? sigh. but still, im gonna fight alongside this regret, no giving up. and to dark wolf and bear, thank you, for always making this wrong world seem a little bit right.

i wish i hadn't seen all of the realness
and all the real people are really not real at all
the more i learn the more i cry as i say goodbye
to the way of life i thought i had designed for me

all of the moments that already passed
we'll try to go back and make them last
all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be
*try by nelly furtado

i missed the boat, the boat i said was too far away even though i would still have never, never given up this for anything in the world. im sorry, i missed your boat.

EC 210 

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.
-Psalm 94:19

dear Lord, i give You everything i have worked for, i give you my dreams. and as we start this rollercoaster days ahead, i pray for Your wisdom, Your strength, and Your blessing to be on each one of us as we battle the papers. amen.

happy mother's day =) 

fight the good fight 

"In Oregon, people fight for a lot of things, people fight for the environment, people fight against poverty, people fight to save the whales; some are worthy fights, some plain weird. But there is only one good fight". -Marty Brown (Christian Union)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:7
* * *i am a bloody capitalist! and the welfare state and communist state are making me mad, sad, and bad. 5 more days, here we go here we go here we go.

watching telly 

i thought of all the things we never got to do together, go to clubs, go drinking, cook for each other, travel to pretty places, play rugby with my size10 rugby ball in summertime; and it sad, real sad, how the only real memories i will have of us together in this land, will forever be just my rugby cup finals this year and our neverending nights at nandos.

i thought this was gonna be one of the best things that had to happen to me here, you being here too. when you first told me it make me smile so hard because there was nothing i could have wanted more than this, and there was nothing that could have made me feel like the luckiest the way this that. but all i ever did was to get too caught up in my own life and to end up taking this chance for granted; and now that there is nothing i can do to change the way things were or will be, it has started to hurt. because you changed me and you taught me how to live and you gave me dreams. because you showed me the kind of person i wanted to grow up to be. because you brought something so big into my life. and because in the the both of you i saw what happiness meant.

watching telly is so nice, but only if its face to face and flesh to flesh (you get what i mean). till the next time my dears, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to i hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too.

i hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
and each road leads you where you want to go
and if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
i hope you choose the one that means the most to you
and if one door opens to another door closed
i hope you keep on walking till you find the window
if it's cold outside show the world the warmth of your smile
but more than anything, more than anything

my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big your worries stay small
you never need to carry more than you can hold
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to
i hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too

i hope you never look back but you never forget
all the ones who love you and the place you left
i hope you always forgive and you never regret
and you help somebody every chance you get
oh you find God's grace in every mistake
and always give more than you take
but more than anything yeah more than anything

this is my wish i hope you know somebody loves you
may all your dreams stay big
*my wish by rascal flatts

seek and you will find 

seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness
and all these things shall be added unto you, hallelu hallelujah

ask and it shall be given unto you seek and ye shall find
knock and the door shall be opened unto you, hallelu hallelujah

trust in the Lord with all thine heart He shall direct thy paths
in all thy ways acknowledge Him, hallelu hallelujah

can you make it on your own 

theres a rain that will never stop falling
there a wall that i tried to take down
what i should have said just wouldn't pass my lips
so i held back and now we've come to this
and it too late now
*words i couldn't say by rascal flatts

i hate saying something so ungodly, but dont you think the capacity to care for someone else can be both a blessing and a curse? and what if you got what you wanted but end up making someone you care for so sad? i couldnt have chosen this.

other than that, exam world has been yucky. its been breakfast, library, throw in some election banter in between, dinner outside library, library, home, equilibrium state (ha-ha) and the cycle goes on and on. not the nicest thing to do in spring, but could have been many times worst. i say, God is good, no matter what happens.

.

♥
JESUS BE THE CENTRE, BE MY SOURCE, BE MY LIGHT JESUS
JESUS BE MY VISION, BE MY PATH, BE MY GUIDE JESUS
BE THE FIRE IN MY HEART, BE THE WIND IN THESE SAILS
BE THE REASON THAT I LIVE, JESUS JESUS