Columbia 5 - 22 Northeastern
Columbia 14 - 0 Catholic 

for the last time for real, i played for the college team in the 4 leaf 15s tournament in the windy wasteland that is randalls island. our first match was against a beastly Northeastern team and we easily conceded two tries in each half through poor play and bad bloopers, only EI lit up the field for us with the sole try on the back of an explosive sprint. i played at the outside center and not only did i fail to turn up, i even managed to somehow get my shoulder smashed and eye punched. what a bummer. our second match against Catholic was much more lively as the team was lifted by the dizzying runs made by EI and NH at the sound of the whistle. NH scored her trademark try as she bamboozled her defenders and HM topped it up with a sommersault of a try, brilliant play. i played at the inside center this time as the entire backline had to move one number up after our flyhalf seemed to have broken her wrist in the previous match; and as i had realized from the previous scrimmage, i like playing as in more than as out, perfect position to put the draw-and-pass to good use. unfortunately i only truly woke up in the second half to nab a run and a tackle or two, guess it was too late by then. we gave up our semis match against Boston as we were down to thirteen men by the end of this match. wish we could have played one more, but in the end all that was left to do was to pack up and go home with a sore shoulder in tow. damn.

thank you for braving the cold to watch me play, i really appreciate it. it sucks to disappoint you and me with a 2/10 performance, but i won't give up, i hope you don't as well =)

change your game.

florida fun 

i had a sunny, spiffy, super spring break in the backseat of the mustang you drove across orlando, tampa, daytona, miami, fort lauderdale, key west and back. i hope you both feel the same, in spite of everything =)

even the best fall down 

in the end i realize only one person respected what i wanted, but that person ended up last. yes it's an unfair world out here.

"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river, it's a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?" -Meredith in Grey's Anatomy

tonight close your eyes 

spring break is here... some are already at the next beach resort and others are dragging their suitcases home, but it's still acadamic crunchtime for me, woe. i feel somewhat like a serious geek working on my take home midterm at a little hermitage, but my track record this semester says that i will not finish this by today. in any case, i've got 2.5 days to conquer this take home midterm and another draft paper before florida. and since the city of new york still makes me miffed ever so often, i am really looking forward to getting out of here to have fun in the sun with DS and YT. and of course, 9 days to seeing you again =)
* * *
love is given but trust is earned; which is why being loved is easier than being trusted, and why loving comes more easily than trusting, and why while the love weatherman says that every day is a new day, the trust forecast says that with each dark cloud, sunny days will never be the same again. that to me is a dreadful thought.

winter comes for a reason to purge your soul
with the change of the seasons i spin out of control
where can i find you when you're not even there
innocent eyes are blinded when the candle dies

there's no where to run no where to hide
fear is a monster no end in sight
no screaming silent screaming
tonight close your eyes dream
no screaming scream it away
tonight close your eyes and pray
*don't cry by naked

Columbia 17 - 17 Southern NY 

the first game of the season was a fairly evenly matched scrimmage against a club side but under a torrential rain that came down upon us all night and all day, not friendly stuff at all. we played a game of 15 minute quarters and i played at the left wing in the first quarter which was was a lively start, right wing in the second quarter which saw me touch the ball no more than five blimping times, inside center in the third quarter which was great fun for drawing-and-passing, and inside center again in the last quarter during which i lost much steam but tried to smack on those tackles. it felt prettyawesome to be back on the pitch again; i think my strength must have increased, but attacking vision is something i definitely need to and want to improve on. can't wait to play again!

anyway, this will mark the second and last time i'll be playing for the college team. if i had known that i wouldn't be eligible to play for college as a grad student, that the college team would pull out of the fall league, and that no player is allowed to play for both college and club, i can almost say for sure that i would never have chosen to come to columbia. it has been very very very vexing; but if i never came, things would not be the way they are now, and i wouldn't want that. all is good, rugby is still love and i will still be playing of course, in the red-white-black stripes of the village lions rfc. sweet.

light up the field.

return of the dark cloud 

'Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will.'
-Romans 12:1-2

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♥
JESUS BE THE CENTRE, BE MY SOURCE, BE MY LIGHT JESUS
JESUS BE MY VISION, BE MY PATH, BE MY GUIDE JESUS
BE THE FIRE IN MY HEART, BE THE WIND IN THESE SAILS
BE THE REASON THAT I LIVE, JESUS JESUS